Friday, November 13, 2009

The gift I still need

I am 40 weeks +1 day pregnant. I am still working outside the home. I am tired. I have 2 daughters at home who want my attention. Plus a husband who is anxious to meet his first baby. And two dogs, one of which (Tasha) can not stop checking on me every 2.9 seconds. And a cat that thinks my belly is his personal elevated bed. Even when I'm sleeping.

We are also dealing with some pretty serious issues with Micah's lovely grandmother Jenny. I wont go too much into it here but I will say that this week has seen some aggressiveness and confusion on her part that are escalating and it's hard for us to know what the right course of action is.

People keep asking me what we still need. Do we have everything? What else could we use?

My answer is always "A baby".

(For the record we do have some larger items we still need but I have the money for those items. I just don't have the desire to go by the swing or bouncy seat right now.)

But what I really need right now is patience. This baby will come on his own time. Or by the 20th, whichever comes first. (I have a schedule induction date because no one wants me to be in the hospital over Thanksgiving which is what we will be up against if I go 2 weeks overdue)

Grandma will be okay. She needs to adjust to her new environment and she is struggling with the confusion of dementia. She is now in a closed unit and it's hard for her to accept. Additionally, she wants to sit and eat with "friends" and it's hard to make friends in the closed dementia unit since, well, everyone has some level of Alzheimer's or dementia. We need to be patient and fight for her best interests.

My daughters always need and deserve my attention. I need to be able to explain to them what I need and what I can give. This is the last week that Lulu will be the youngest child in our house. This will be the last week that Kylie wont be "on call" to watch a small infant so Mommy can take a shower for a year or so.

Tasha and Molly and Jason are lovely, sensitive animals that love me. They can tell things are changing in the house and they aren't entirely sure how to deal with them. They need some love as well.

So I just need some more patience. Okay, I need a lot of it. Everything will be okay. Deep breath. It will all be alright. I just need some time. And patience.

And guacamole.


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