Friday, October 30, 2009

Random Updates

I'm 38 weeks, 1 day pregnant.

I'm tired.

I'm possibly a little cranky.

We had a snowstorm in Colorado Wednesday and Thursday.

Kylie helped shovel snow without griping about it. I consider my parenting work to be a moderate success.

Lulu has begun to focus on art more than TV for entertainment. While this is fantastic and I continue to encourage this behavior I am a little tired of writing the stories to her little art projects when every fiber in my being is begging for a nap.

Micah and I had a very serious conversation about buying Lulu an Iphone for Christmas because she loves to play with the YouTube feature on mine and that + headphones = at least 30 minutes of silence.

We decided against it.

My midwife informed me yesterday that my no later than date is November 19th since she is on call for Thanksgiving and does not want to induce me then. That means if I go to 41 weeks (which would be November 19th) they will induce me the day after. While I'm not looking forward to induction if I can help it, it's nice to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

I have a cold.

Here is a picture of Micah and Kylie shoveling the driveway.

I am hiding safely in the garage. It's good to be pregnant. I guess.

The kids are supposed to go over to Brian's house on Sunday for a sleepover. Kylie is protesting vehemently. I'm torn on the issue personally. On the one hand, he raised her. Regardless of legal whatever, that's her dad. And the reason she doesn't want to go is because he wont let her wear black clothing.

On the one hand, I get that this is who she is and it's a phase and the more you fight something like that the more she wants it and rebels against parental rules. So I want her to be who she is today, even if it isn't who I would wish for. He disagrees. So on the other hand, do I force her to go somewhere where she isn't allowed to be who she is (within reason) or do I allow her to tell the man that raised her for 14 years to forget all about her and that she gets to be in charge because he didn't formally adopt her?

We are packed for the hospital and only because Micah made me. If this stuff was left up to me I would show up at the hospital with a pillow case full of movies and a pair of pants wondering what else I was supposed to bring.

Lulu is going to be Wall-E for Halloween. This is possibly the best costume ever as Wall-E is essentially a foam box with goggles. That she can wear over her coat. Hurray!

Kylie seems to have decided against going trick or treating. Be this a lesson to you Brian. When you told her she couldn't go it was the thing she wanted to do most in the world. When I told her she could go her interest in it waned and now she wants to hand out candy. Just sayin'.

Overall, still pregnant and probably not going anywhere anytime soon.
But feeling very smug about my parenting right now. I'm sure God will show me humility soon but if he could just let me have a few more minutes of being superior that would be great.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Why do they care?

I'm often surprised at how much people give a crap about my reproduction. I shouldn't be, I am, after all, a product of the internet generation and I use the internet to fuel all of my research ever, and yet, random co-workers and people on the street asking me questions and then telling me the "right" and "wrong" thing to do still amazes me.

1. When I found out I was pregnant and I finally started to tell people I had no less than 5 co-workers ask me how that happened.

My 14 year old knows how that happened. I assume that adults my own age or older know how it happens too. If you need me to really tell you we have some larger issues at play.

2. When did it happen?

Really? People REALLY want to know this? My EX-HUSBAND asked me if it happened while we were in Mexico (Micah and I, not he and I). I told him no. But why would you ask?

3. Do you know what you're having?

Okay this doesn't bother me so much. I'm having a boy. It's the follow up questions that come with it. If I'm lazy and say no people ask if I'm going to find out. If I tell them it's a boy, they ask if it's my first. Second? Third? First Boy? And then, THEN, I get the comments about "I bet you're glad it's a boy finally." That is possibly the most insulting thing I've ever heard. I had my heart set on a girl if you must know. But whether it was a boy, a girl or a monkey it's the last baby that is exiting my body. The suggestion that I'm relieved and don't have to keep trying for a boy tells me that strangers really will say the oddest things.

Also, before we knew what we were having people would try and lobby for me to either a)find out or b)not find out. EVERYONE has advice on this subject. When I would tell people we planned to find out I got some really adamant people telling me what a bad idea that was for any myriad of reasons. My favorite was "It'll make you push harder to find out."

I've had 2 kids. The last thing I've EVER had on my mind while pushing them out was the gender. My last child my only thought while pushing was my then husband's vasectomy.

4. What are your plans for delivery?

My midwife asking me this? Totally fine and appropriate. My husband and Mother In Law asking? Also fine. Close family members I'm also okay with.

Co-workers? Strangers? People in line at Wal-Mart? Stop it. Seriously.

Also, when I tell you my plans please, for the love of all that is holy, do not try and argue with me about my decision, whatever it is.

I'm choosing to go medication free. I have a reason for this. I also have 2 other children so it is possible that I've thought about this maybe once or twice. For what it's worth I've had both a medicated and an unmedicated birth. My unmedicated memories make me want to vomit with anxiety because I remember how bad it all hurt. I remember calling my Dr a liar because it hurt so bad. My medicated birth was, by far, so much better for me. And YET, I am still choosing to do this unmedicated. Really, I've thought about it. Telling me that birth hurts does not help.

Also, conversely, when women tell others to bring the epidural on in month 8, I don't blame them either. That stuff hurts. For REAL. So don't try and talk women OUT of medication if they choose too, I don't care how uninformed you may think they are. I'm going to say it again, labor hurts. It's not easy, it's not "fun" and while it's well worth it in the end, judging someones ability to tolerate pain is just plain mean.

5. Are you going to circumcise/vaccinate/eat your placenta? Etc........

WOW, really? REALLY?
Again, friends and family I'm cool with. If you're close to me. And close to me means I'd call you at 3 am for bail money.

If not, don't ask. These questions have no right or wrong answer except to the individual making the decision. They are bound to start controversy and I have no desire to hear about your cousin who either a) had to be circumcised at 5 because it wasn't done when he was an infant or b)your cousin who was scarred for life and became a serial killer because he was circumcised (or vaccinated for that matter) as an infant.

For the record, no, I wont be eating my placenta. I don't care how much protein it has in it.

Can you tell I'm grumpy? Sorry. But I am. I'm still pregnant and so done with it that I can't stand it.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

My housekeeping skills can be summed up in one conversation

Me: What's that sound?
Micah: A vacuum cleaner.

How the got their names

For some reason I find the process that people use to name their children fascinating. I love 99.9% of names people pick for their children because of course they always seem to fit that child but I also love the time and thought that parents put into the process of picking the "right" name.

A name is something that you give your child that they will carry with them forever. It helps shape and mold them and make them who they are and who they will become. (You know, along with upbringing and morales etc.)

So here is how each of my children got their names. I just thought I would share with you.

Kylie LeAnndra

Kylie is a name that my stepmother really liked and wanted for my half brothers daughter (my niece). At the last minute they changed their minds and so 4 years later I used it for my daughter. It also helps that its a)an Irish name and b) her birth fathers middle name is Kyle.

Kylie is Irish, meaning Handsome (okay it was for a boy in Ireland) or Boomerang in Australian Aboriginal.

LeAnndra is me changing up my middle name. Originally Kylie's middle name was going to be Nicole but at the last minute my mom suggested I use LeAnndra instead since her fathers middle name was getting some billing, perhaps mine should to. LeAnndra means "like a lioness" and I find it appropriate.

Elizabeth Ann.

Elizabeth is for Elizabeth Bennett from Pride and Prejudice. The A&E movie is my favorite movie of all time and had I seen it 7 months earlier Kylie may very well have been named Jane.

Ann is also using my middle name and giving it to my child. I just had to be sneakier about it. At the hospital, after Brian had filled out the birth certificate information he looked at me and said, "Hey, you, Kylie and Lizzie all have Ann in your middle name." I faked being surprised and really was shocked he hadn't noticed sooner.

William Raul.

William was all Micah's idea. He really, really, really wanted to name the baby that. I was heading more towards Jeremiah. Or Paul. Or Benjamin. Or anything that wasn't William because Micah wanted to call him Bill and when I think of the name Bill I think of old, bald, fat guys. (Apologies to all Bills right now) He finally won me over with a promise to call him Will, not Bill. But every so often he messes with me and make me think that William is still a bad idea.

Raul is Micah's grandfathers middle name. He insisted and while I was all about putting Lee as the middle name (More homage to ME!) I agreed, seeing as Micah loved his grandfather so much.

I toy with the idea of adding Julian as a second middle name to this baby as homage to my mother but I generally am not a fan of 2 middle names so that probably wont happen.

So how did you name your babies?

Monday, October 19, 2009

The ballad of Jenny and Fran

Jenny and Fran can't seem to get along. Already today they have had it out and involved a third party with the "it's not fairs!" and the "She touched my stuff!"

Fran has accused Jenny of wearing her clothes (she isn't). Jenny says she doesn't have to share the closet (she does). The two have been bickering since at least this morning and I suspect by the time I get there after work Fran will be claiming she doesn't have to share the bathroom since it's on her side of the room if Jenny won't share the closet because it's on Jenny's side and Jenny will have punched Fran in the teeth. Except Fran doesn't have teeth and I'm not sure Jenny has the strength to follow through on a good punch. Although Fran may be dead because she does like to nap a lot of I think Jenny has enough strength to hold a pillow over Fran's face.

The "funny" part of all of this is that these are not two sisters bickering and sharing a room. No. These are 80+ year old women in a nursing home who became roommates over the weekend. Neither one is particularly happy with it, apparently and they don't seem to like each other.

Micah got a call from the social worker earlier today detailing the argument for him. He tried to talk to his grandma, Jenny, who is unhappy regardless. *sigh*

I'm off this evening to try smooth things over, at least with Jenny.

Pray for me. I think I may need it.

Friday, October 16, 2009

You know you're 36 weeks pregnant when....

1. Your 5 year old knows the routine in the morning involves putting Mommy's socks on for her
2. Your 14 year old's routine involves Mommy's shoes
3. Your coat struggled to zip up over your belly
4. Strangers start saying "Getting close now?"
5. Your appointments become weekly
6. and involve you taking off your pants
7. People start asking what you're doing to help labor along...and wink at your husband
8. You realize that doesn't sound like a bad idea if you could figure out how to get your belly out of the way
9. Your socks leave marks on your legs
10. Getting your leg over the bathtub is exhausting
11. You want to get a pedicure but aren't sure if you need one since you haven't seen your toes in 2 months
12. You also haven't shaved your legs in that length of time
13. The dogs no longer fear your hunger, they know you can't eat more than an M&M at a time
14. You're co-workers beg you not to take on too much work as they don't want to have to do you're stuff when you're out
15. You rework the budget 15 times in one day because that's your idea of nesting
16. When people ask if you need anything you ask if they can go to the bathroom for you as you're tired of spending all your time in there
17. You wake up tired every morning and realize you lost count of the number of times you visited the bathroom
18. Getting out of the car requires assistance..and occasionally a fork lift
19. Slip on shoes never looked so good
20. You have a countdown calendar going on and you tell EVERYONE about it

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Parent Teacher Conferences

Last week I had the parent-teacher conference for Lulu with her teacher Mrs. Brunning. Who I love.

For some unknown reason Kylie's parent teacher conferences were in Sept, less than a month after school had started. I missed out on going because I didn't know about it. But even if I had I can already tell you how they would have gone.

Teacher #1: Kylie is brilliant but lazy. She speeds through her work and then just reads.
Teacher #2: Kylie is so smart and talented but she seems a little lazy. We really have to struggle to get her homework turned in, even though she aces every test.
Teacher #3: Kylie is gifted but lazy....

You see where that goes. So yeah, I'll just check her report card, thank you very much. Talking to 7 teachers about how gifted by lazy my kid is does nothing for me.

So back to Lulu.

Lulu was truly shy for the first time in almost a year and didn't speak the entire time. She just stared at her teacher and smiled.

According to the teacher Lulu is doing well at school, she's got all of her capital letters down and most of her lowercase. She's desperately trying to read and spends a lot of time sounding out small words. Her memory is good and she's moving quickly through math and reading concepts.

She also is apparently the guide dog of the Kindergarten. According to the teacher Lulu is very outgoing and talkative and is very good at multitasking. That is to say, she can color a picture and talk at the same time. Apparently not all of the children and create a picture and describe it so she will pair Lulu with that child so they can see her process as she creates and helps the other children come out of their shells.

None of that is a surprise, I don't think Lulu stops talking from the moment she gets home until she falls asleep.

She also told me that Lulu is very helpful, wants to help others and is very empathetic to the needs and feelings of others. She doesn't want anyone to have their feelings hurt and goes out her way to make sure everyone is "okay".

And doesn't stop talking. Which sometimes gets her in trouble. But overall a joy to have in class.

I honestly don't know how I got so lucky sometimes.

Brilliant but lazy and talkative and helpful. What more can a mother ask for?

Monday, October 12, 2009

Maybe a bad example

As I approach the end of my pregnancy I have begun to take to my bed earlier and more frequently. Micah was kind enough a few weeks ago to give me his vibrating heating pad for my back and it has done me a world of good.

Like a caring and loving daughter, Lulu has noticed that I seem to hurt a little more and when she comes in my room and sees me using the heating bad she'll get a very concerned look on her face and ask if my back hurts. I generally tell her yes, a little bit and she gives me a hug.

So you can imagine my laughter last night when I came into my room to find Lulu on the bed looking like this:

She said her back hurt too. And then couldn't stop talking because she's so little the vibrating made her sound funny when she opened her mouth.

I've created a monster.

*and yes, I really do sleep with all those pillows plus 2 more you can't see. I'm a freak.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Donuts with Grandpa

By now it should come as no surprise to my readers that I grew up in a household of women. I've been known to say once or twice that women raising children together is the way it should be. Because in the past I've had more help with my kids from other women than with the father figure in the house. And my own experience was being raised by 2 women.

I'm kinda getting to the point where it might be okay to do the Mom and Dad thing in the house. So far it's looking promising anyways, what with the help with dinner and kitchen cleanup and laundry and reading stories that the Dad in our house does...but I digress.

Today at our elementary school it's Donuts with Dad morning. Donuts with Dad is actually a community event I started about 4 years ago when I became President of the PTO. (Why, yes, I am tooting my own horn, why do you ask?) When I took over the PTO was solely about raising funds for pet projects that the former board liked and was not necessarily about the school or the kids. I got lucky, the entire board quit and I started with a clean slate. And no help. But I was passionate about PTO not just being about money and so that fall we held our first DWD or Donuts with Dad.

Because of the makeup of our community we opened it up to ANY male figure in a child's life so Dads, Step Dads, Uncles, Brothers, Grandpa's, even friends and neighbors could come and support the child.They get a donut and juice or milk and the child gets to show off their school, classroom and teachers as well as friends. We do a similar event for Moms in the Spring but the Dad event is by far better attended (free donuts, hello) and we get somewhere around 200-300 people to the event. Considering we have about 450 students, including pre-school, that's pretty good.

Not once, in those 4 years, did either of my children have a male figure attend the event with them. For those of you who are keeping track, I did actually have a child in the school 4 years ago but her father couldn't be bothered to come. Even though his wife organized and planned it. He is on vacation for it this year.

Micah was unable to attend this year but Lulu didn't actually invite him anyways. When she and I talked about it she wanted to invite her Grandpa. Luckily for us Grandpa accepted and Lulu was very excited.

This morning all she could talk about was showing Grandpa off. Like he's a display piece in her collection of people who adore her. Oh wait. He probably is.

To be fair she offered to save me part of her donut. I decline. I've seen what happens when she saves anything for me and it's not pretty.

As far as I can tell Grandpa came and Lulu was pleased. Here is the photo my friends on the PTO took for me showing my littlest girl and her Grandpa. I hope she got to show him off. I hope he liked it.

Thank you Grandpa!

PS - Elisa:

Actually that's not your little girl keeping you up, it's my inability to convey the story properly.
That's Micah's step-dad Rex who is, by all accounts, the only dad that matters as far as Micah or I are concerned.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

I've been MIA

Sorry I've been MIA for the last couple of days. I have so many ideas floating around in my head of what to write but nothing really seems to come into focus for me lately.

The kids are doing well. I'm still pregnant and doing well. Micah is doing well.

We have some challenges also going on and that has made it difficult I think for me to focus.

Micah's grandmother is still in the nursing home and we are trying to figure out the right course of action for her. She wants to go home. The nursing home says they'll call adult services if we send her home. She only has enough in savings to cover a 24 hour caretaker for 3 months and then we'd need to move her. So there is stress.

Did I mention I'm still pregnant? Yeah. I am. I have about 5 weeks until my due date and it just seems like every time I see my midwife something ELSE is going on. This last week they were worried I was showing signs of pre-eclampsia. I'm not. But that was a semi-stressful weekend.

I have a new roof but now I need to pay the roofers and that is becoming difficult since my insurance sent me a check that is difficult to cash.

The principal at the elementary school is annoying the PTO, of which I am a board member. (And am irritated right along with them)

So I just don't have a lot of funny things to post or say and I really dislike complaining a lot on the blog.

So bear with me while I try and break through this writers block and find funnier times ahead.

Friday, October 2, 2009


Today is my fathers birthday. If my recollection of his year of birth is correct then today he will be 67 today. I will not, however, be calling him to wish him a happy birthday. A card did not go out to him today and no, I didn't forget. I remembered his birthday a week ago and have chosen to send him nothing.

I am a disrespectful, hateful, unforgiving daughter. Ask him. He'll tell you the same thing.

I so don't care. Well, obviously I care somewhat or else I wouldn't be posting a blog telling you about it and how I don't care.

I am infinitely jealous of my cousins who grew up with fathers. Fathers that did things with them and took them places and never made a promise they couldn't keep. Father's who deserve Fathers Day cards and birthday presents and brag about their grandchildren and come to visit. Father's who lend an ear or helping hand and who know you better than you know yourself. Pictures of them growing up in Daddy's lap, getting help with the science fair projects etc. I don't long for that anymore but I used to. Secretly.

I always wanted my children to have that dad. The dad my cousins had. The story book Daddy's who showered their daughters with affection and attention, I wanted that. Wished for it. Pretended I had one from time to time. My children didn't really get that either but what they did get, I think is probably better than a completely absent father.

To be fair, Will is going to get the best dad in the bunch if behavior continues as I suspect it might.

Neither Micah nor I had great biological role models for Fathers. We have some pretty awesome role models now in Step-Fathers, Uncles and friends and I feel like we have gotten incredibly lucky in some respects with that.

So instead of sending my dad a card or calling him or anything of that sort, I just want to say happy birthday to all the good Dads out there.

All the dads coaching games or sitting on the sidelines or taking to practice or rooting theirs kids on. All the dads kissing boo boos, driving to the emergency room at 80 miles an hour and checking on their kids at night. To the dads making dinner, buying dinner or eating dinner a child made that might be slightly "creative. To the dads knowing their children and loving them for who they are instead of trying to fit them into a mold that they have created in their minds as "best".

Happy Birthday guys. Even if it isn't your birthday today. It will be in the next 364 days so here's your birthday wishes too. Happy birthday. Sincerely.