Friday, October 22, 2010

That's so Gay

You may have heard about the recent string of suicides by some teenage and young adult boys. They were either gay or were perceived as gay and so they killed themselves. They had been bullied and reacted by ending it all.

I have sat and cried at each and every story about these boys I have read. Bright, young, loved young men who will never see another birthday, will never get a chance see their futures, experience love or make a difference by anything than the sacrifice of their lives.

I have wanted to say something for days but wasn't sure how to say it or what to say. I also was aware that I need to tread carefully into this realm. I need to be careful because I have some readers who absolutely, to the depths of their souls, believe that homosexuality is a sin. A sin and a choice because that's what a sin would be.

I also have readers who disagree with that assessment or, at least in one case, are openly gay.

So first, I want to say it out loud, for all to read. I am NOT gay. But people I love are gay.

I don't believe being gay is a choice. Because I can not fathom choosing to be hated. To be bullied. To face rejection and be denied rights that others who are slightly different are granted without question. I can't imagine choosing to be abandoned or judged or persecuted relentlessly. I can't imagine choosing who I love or who I was attracted to and having that used against me to hurt me, to humiliate me, to be used as blackmail to abuse me. No one would choose that. So I don't believe it's a choice.

I believe they are born being attracted to people of the same gender and can't help it, just like I can't help what color skin I have or what gender I was born with. Replace gay with black for example and you'll see that while blacks suffered abuse and being bullied because of the way they were born it was nothing they change.

I also don't believe that I get to judge those who are gay or those who hate gays. Although I would LOVE to judge people (and often I do, I'm not perfect) I don't get to decide who is worthy of love and respect and who is not based on what I believe. Since I believe that I also don't believe that I or anyone else am in a place to decide who can get married or who not get married. I don't believe that letting someone marry someone else of the same gender in anyway cheapens marriage since I believe infidelity and abuse cheapen marriage and that can happen regardless of who you marry.

If one of my children were to come to me and tell me they were gay it would not change my love for them one bit. It would not change the way I feel about them and it would not change my beliefs. This goes for my daughters as well as my son.

I look to God and Jesus for examples of how to love my children. God loves us regardless of what we do. He loves us even when we misbehave. He loves me even when I have hate in my heart. So I love my children, even when they misbehave.

I'm not, however, saying that gays are misbehaving or are wrong. But I believe that God loves them just like he loves me.

There are so many problems in the world. Really and truly there are. Can't we worry about starving children, families without jobs and lost souls and stop hating those who are different than we are.


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