Family Photos

So this FALL I took some family photos but apparently never posted them as I must have forgotten I had a blog or something.

In any case here are a few of my favorites but certainly not all of them.











If you do nothing else check out this last photo of my in-laws and their grandchildren. This is absolutely the best picture of all the ones we took. Having said that please check out MY younger daughter there on the left.

Yes. It truly is the best picture.

Playing in the snow

This winter in Colorado has been mild to say the least. We've had, until recently, very little snow and weather that never got below freezing. Our Christmas was pretty brown and un-holiday like.

Luckily the end of January came and FINALLY Colorado remembered that it's Colorado and not, say, Florida and we got some snow.

Of course we had to run outside and play in it.

Needed to bring a drink with him. Does not care that that it will freeze out here.

I love that picture. The children are in mid-stride running from the evil snow blower. Which they chased and then ran away from multiple times that day.

Couldn't get out of the way fast enough.

Drive way snow angel's are the easiest ones to photograph.

Snot's going on?

While we are not a particularly religious household we do subscribe to the idea of Proverbs 22:6 "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."

Which is to say we broke out snow shoveling equipment and set them to it.

Taking a moment for a little snow shovel guitar.

This is how you clean off Mommy's car - pay attention!

In all we had fun playing in the long awaited snow which melted a few days later. By then we were over that whole below freezing and warming up the cars thing anyways.



It sure was fun having our snow days though. Even Micah enjoyed it.


Don't tell him I posted that.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Brian and his wife (and their new baby) have finally moved to Las Vegas which means a whole new stage of our lives here in Colorado.

No more week on, week off, no more two households, no more Sunday night switch.

I actually like it better and I believe the girls do too. Consistency in a home is a good thing. While they both miss Brian he's been good about calling them and texting Ky etc.

But the move also means school holiday visits. Colorado has a fall break for a week in October and so this was the first visit since he moved at the end of September.

Because Ky is 16 now we don't have to pay the unaccompanied minor fee, she just has to be in charge of Lizzie. That is a nice money saver but also a worry for me because those two seem to get under each others skin.

Not really having a sister I assumed that because there was such an age gap between them this wouldn't be an issue. I was mistake. Lizzie has a way of teasing Ky that Ky takes VERY personally and she retaliates in a pretty mean way to Lizzie which makes her cry. My nightmare was that happening in the airport and Ky losing Lizzie at some point.

Luckily for me Frontier Airlines was very understand of my neurosis nightmare concern and gave me a gate pass. The girls and I made it through security and lucky for me Lizzie and I didn't have to go through the body scan. (Sorry Ky!)

After we got through security Ky's Kindle stopped working and so her mood went from Eeyore to MASSIVE TEENAGED ANGER so I was glad I was there. First to call Amazon and find out what the deal was and second to make sure Lizzie was watched over because at one point Ky just got up and walked away without telling me where she went. Nice.

The girls posed for me while we waited for their flight to be called.



Lizzie had a case of the fidgets in a big way and told me "I think I'm gonna SQUIRM" after I asked her to try and control her body. But she did LOOK as though she was fighting it.

Finally their row was called so I walked them up to the ticket agent. Lizzie hugged me huge and I hugged her back. Ky of course is a seasoned pro of leaving mom on an airplane so I'm not even sure she said goodbye to me. I got this photo of them before I just started crying like an idiot in the airport.



They did make it safely and no one called security on me as I stumbled/cried my way back through the airport so I guess it was a good day overall.

Now I'm just counting down the days until they get back.

And eating ice cream for dinner. Because I can.

Hanging on with two hands

In two weeks I will be the mother of a 16 year old.

16.

Sweet 16.

I actually struggle to wrap my mind around such a thing because I keep thinking that it must be impossible.

How can my little girl be almost 16?

I still remember her staring at my mother with rapt attention as a new born while my mother sang her the "onsie song".

I can still feel the spit from her spit wet open mouth kisses on my cheek at 1.

Our family STILL says "Doing?" as short hand for "what are you doing?" just like she did at 2.

I remember the elaborate dance she made up to "Rum Tum Tugger" from the musical "Cats" when she was 3.

When she was 4 she could already read fluently.

She was 5 when the school district told me in Tucson that it didn't matter if she was reading college level material, she wasn't starting Kindergarten that year.

At 6 she fully believed in magic, so much that her birthday party included a magician.

I can still hear her at 7 making up stories with her grandma over the phone for hours.

When she was eight she chose going to Alaska to see her family over a birthday party and wound up with a surprise stop in Disneyland.

She was almost 9 when she called me at work to find out if she was going to have a little brother or a little sister.

I can still see her writing her letter for her grandmothers casket at almost 10. She had more poise during that time than any adult in the room.

At 11 she would still hold my hand at the store and didn't care if anyone saw.

I can still hear her singing in the basement at 12 loudly and like no one was listening.

I can see her crying uncontrollably at 13 and being so angry that I couldn't seem to help her.

When she was 14 she handled her parents divorce with grace I myself rarely felt.

I can still hear her at 15 screaming at me that she hated me.

And now, here she is 2 weeks from 16.

I am so excited for her as she grows and develops into the amazing young woman she is meant to be. But I still don't know that I'm ready for 16.

Luckily I have two more weeks of a 15 year old. And I'm going to hold on to every second of it.

Young Man

The other night I was walking up the sidewalk and noticed my son peeking out at my from the window of his bedroom. It was dark, about 9pm and he was supposed to be asleep.

"Young man, you get down from there and get in bed RIGHT NOW!" I said in my best stern mother voice.

He laughed at me.

"I mean it. It is past your bedtime, you go inside right now and get in bed." I was now standing in front of the window by at an angle and he was giggling maniacally.

"I mean it. If I have to come in there and put you bed myself I will."

More laughter.

"Fine I'm coming in there but you are not getting another bottle!"

As I turned around to go in the house I heard to my left, "Are you talking to me?"

Apparently my neighbor's 18 year old son was standing on his front stoop, I have no idea why. He thought I was telling HIM to go to bed. Of course he couldn't see the baby on the other side of the window or hear the laughter, he just heard the crazy neighbor lady scolding him and telling him to go to bed. At 9 o'clock at night.

Perhaps that explains why those neighbors choose to mow their backyard at 7am on Saturdays.

They hate me.

59 reasons

I love you....

1. You weren't afraid to let your hair grow gray
2. You showed me women didn't need to wear makeup to be beautiful
3. You instilled a distrust of pantyhose
4. You taught me how to manage my money before most of my friends even had money
5. You let me get a rabbit as a pet
6. You displayed patience that I can only hope to achieve
7. You taught me fractions
8. You accidentally taught me an Irish drinking song
9. You found money for summer camp
10. You made me laugh every time I spoke to you
11. You planted flowers where ever we lived
12. You had true compassion for your fellow man
13. You got me a phone when I was 13
14. When I was 11 you shared me special powder after a bath because I was feeling so hormonal
15. You bought me bath gel that you wouldn't even buy yourself because of the cost
16. You suggested I share my middle name with my daughters
17. No one else's mom had green eyes
18. Even though I was you never made me feel like an accident
19. You bought me groceries when I lived in Vegas
20. You had more friends than most people have hair on their heads
21. You honored your mother, even when she drove you crazy
22. You taught me the importance of knowing your family history
23. You told me to finish a semester of college before I got married
24. You scrimped and worked so we never had to leave my childhood neighborhood
25. You made up songs for each of my baby girls
26. You yelled at the neighborhood creepy boy for me
27. You brought me mac & cheese when I was babysitting for the "all organic/sushi" family
28. You cheered at all of my junior high meets and games
29. You showed me that family is more than just the people related to you
30. You believed me when I told you I didn't steal the Baileys (I really didn't either!)
31. You had a life that revolved outside of me
32. But also made me feel like I was your world
33. You never told me how hard teenage girls are
34. You let me call you "Mammy" when we lived in Texas
35. You never kept me from my father, even when he was a huge jerk to you
36. You let me figure stuff out on my own
37. You introduced me to Josh Groban
38. You paid $25 for my flute for 3 years
39. You took me on roadtrips
40. You taught me how to cross stitch and knit
41. I never went without what I needed
42. You watched "Pride and Prejudice" with me
43. The last thing you told me was that you loved me
44. When the world was crumbling around you, you faced it with dignity and grace
45. I never saw you stressed out
46. The best quote I ever learned was hanging in your house
47. You watched Dr. Quinn and Saturday Night Live with in the same night
48. You taught me how to ride my bike
49. You let me order cream pies for dessert
50. You gained 60 pounds when you were pregnant only to have a 6lb 9 oz baby
51. You knew I was sick before I did or my Dr.'s believed it
52. You found me a mid-wife for my delivery with Ky
53. You let me change schools
54. You guilted me into getting my first tattoo
55. You loved with your whole heart
56. You took me to church
57. You defended me
58. You wouldn't let me be a statistic
59. You were born on August 10, 1952

Happy Birthday Mom.

I miss you.

Not a photographer

Lately when I show people pictures of my kids I get "Are you a photographer?".

The answer is no. But, I explain, it's easy to look like one when you have a camera more complicated than the space shuttle and such easy subjects to work with.






For the record, I STILL don't know how my camera works. But Micah does and that's all that matters.

When Kylie was a year and a half, she loved to watch Quasimodo on TV which was a VHS copy we had of "The Hunchback of Notre Dame". The Disney version.

When Lizzie was a year and a half old she knew some colors and could sing some nursery songs.

Will is a year and a half. The following photos should explain why he knows no songs, watches almost no TV and has no interest in reciting colors for me.

Trying to climb the penny horse at the grocery store. Half of his shirt is under his armpit because he struggled to get away from me so hard.

This image is from the video camera we have set up in his room. We have it as a safety precaution, I think you can see why. This first image shows that Will has throw his favorite blanket on the roof of his toddler bed "fort" and is now attempting to climb up after it.

This image shows that he got up there, the canopy was strong enough to hold him and he sat up there. For almost 20 minutes.

Not shown: Pictures of Will climbing into his high chair while my back was turned cooking dinner. Also not shown: Pictures of him scaling the dinner table, patio table and various other household furniture.

Anyone taking bets on how many bones he'll break before he gets to Kindergarten?

Does anyone know how many near heart attacks a mother can have because in 20 months I'm pretty sure I've reached the 3 digit mark.

Baby's Day Out

While my brother in law Andy and his wife Sara were in town they decided it would be fun to take Will to the zoo for the first time. Sadly I had to work but Micah and his mom Leslie were able to join the fun.

Upon entering the zoo Will behaves like a good boy and holds Daddy and Grandma's hands. Any Monkey backpacks tail.

At some point Uncle Andy ends up carrying Will. He also admires Monkey's tail

Will rides in style. My understanding is that he wasn't all that impressed with most of the animals at the zoo. Probably because really he's only tall enough to see everyone's rear ends and feet.

There is a wonderful carousel at the zoo and it appears that Will and Grandma had fun.

Uncle Andy and Aunt Sara also joined in on the fun.

After a long, hot day everyone was tired, sweaty and over it. Will and he Monkey backpack said "bubye" to the zoo.

Is it me or does Monkey seem to be looking back a little wistfully?

I know

I know. I knooooowww. Iknowiknowiknow. Alright already. It's been awhile. Don't hate.

I had a surprise anniversary to help plan.
I worked almost 50 hours last week. While my brother and sister in law were in town. I worked on Sunday for crying out loud. I'm trying not to panic about the idea of traveling with 3 kids and a husband this weekend. To Minnesota. Hello family reunion! (My house will be totally guarded though internet. Don't think about breaking in. Besides, if you could see my husbands student loan bills you'd know there isn't anything worth breaking in for anyways.)

My mother and father in law had their 20th wedding anniversary which, in this day and age is frankly a miracle. Heck, I'm pretty shocked that anyone married in the 90's is still married today. What's that? Bitter you say? Perish the though.

Regardless I'm still in awe that two people can go through as much as these people have gone through and still want to sleep in the same bed every night.

I helped plan this surprise anniversary party with my sisters in law Mel and Sara as well as my husband who pretty much handled guest inviting for anyone not on my father in laws side of the family. I was pretty impressed.


My sister in law drew this tree free hand. I'm pretty impressed. We had all who attended the party do their thumb prints (or finger prints, I'm not picky) and label them with their names. Later Sara and Leslie had it framed and it is gorgeous. You can't tell but that's their initials in the heart on the tree and two birds kissing. Under the tree it says "Rex and Leslie 20 years of love" and the dates.



We got some great pictures of the grandkids although by this point in the day Will had decided life was not worth living unless a bottle of milk was in his mouth.



Lizzie and Paloma were just happy to have their picture taken. And to play together.



And we were able to get a giant group family picture which was amazing. Usually someone is looking funny or my husband is mock choking his sister or something weird is going on and that's all we have. But because we have a pretty wicked camera (in a good way) we took about 400 pictures of the family shot and what do you know! 4 of them turned out.

Happy Anniversary Leslie and Rex. Here's to at least another 20 more. Although I'm probably not throwing another party until you hit 50. Sorry. I'm STILL exhausted from the last one.

Outside

Will is a man of limited words. He gets his message across with cuteness for the most part and so I was pretty happy with Mama, Daddy, Ba and the occasional word that sounds like Good Girl (for the dogs and cat and most animals), Sizzy (or is it Lizzy) and Uh oh.

Saturday though we added a word to his vocabulary that makes all other words meaningless, at least to him.

Friday night we drove to Micah's parent's house in the mountains. It's a 2 hour drive and Will and the dogs were over it by the time we got there. It was dark, we put him to bed and he was happy. Saturday morning he woke up and experienced his first morning camping. Grandma made hashbrowns, bacon and scrambled eggs. He had orange juice and eggs, potatoes, fruit. Then, he played. Outside. All Day. Between naps he ran around, navigated up and down hills, helped grandpa build a retaining wall, helped grandma haul stone, walked to the neighbors, played with dogs, chased birds and rode on a 4 Wheeler. (New vocab words also now include WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!)

Since we got home Saturday night all I've heard from him is "outside". From the moment he wakes up until he goes to sleep it's "Outside".

So desperate was he to get outside that yesterday he climbed out of his crib during nap time, scaled the spare bed in his room, opened the crack in his window into something big enough for an 18 month to get out of and stepped out into my window boxes. Once out there however, he realized that he couldn't slide down and couldn't figure out how to get back in the house.

Luckily Micah heard his terrified screams from the backyard and came running.

Even after all that though, I'll I've heard from the boy is "Mama. Outside."

It's going to be a long 18 years.

Brave

She's so brave. It's like she doesn't know to get embarrassed or anxious or worry about what others think. Which is ridiculous because she's 15. She cares what her peers think about almost everything.

Instead she's up on stage in front of over a hundred people dancing. And maybe not dancing well, although it's hard to know what dancing well is these days for me. I'm so far away from teenaged dancing I probably sound like a 70 year old man yelling at kids to get off his lawn. "Why in my day we didn't jiggle our hips and hop on one leg."*

But she's up there dancing to a pop song, unlike any of the other dancers this evening who have danced to hip hop or rap or even dance mixes like at an adult club. She's dancing to a pop song in pants and a silver sequined top when all the other girls had flapper like dresses. She's dancing alone on stage, by herself. The only performance this evening to contain only one dancer.

I watch her and I feel like I'm going to be sick.

When she took the stage almost no one clapped. A kid next to me started to laugh when her music started and I stared him down. That's my baby. Shut up you hooligan. He stopped.

When she finished the auditorium erupted in applause. I screamed for her.

She's so brave, my 15 year old. So beyond anything I could have ever imagined at 15.

As a parent I shouldn't take credit when my child does well because she is her own person.

But I certainly think I must be doing something right.

Lilacs

When we first moved to Colorado it was March which meant there was snow on the ground. Brian had bought the house with me only having seen it via the internet so I had no true idea as to what it looked like. Within a few days of moving here I flew with my 9 year old and 6 month old to Alaska to be with my Mother who, for those who don't know, had been diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer in February.

It's a good guess that I didn't pay much attention to my house. I didn't really care about it because I was worried about my new baby, and my move from Tucson to Colorado and finding a job and helping my 9 year old adjust and oh yeah, my mother dying.

I especially didn't care about my back yard. I could see it was large from my sliding glass doors in the kitchen but that was about all I cared about.

But I noticed it for the first time on Mothers Day of that year, 2005. I was in the kitchen and the radio was playing. It played a song called "No One Will Ever Love Me (that way again)" by Rebecca Lynn Howard. I had never heard the song before and it caught me off guard because it was about a Mother's love and reduced me to a sobbing mess. You see, I knew already that it was my Mother's last Mothers Day even though everyone around me either wouldn't acknowledge it or didn't believe it.

I sat at my dining room table crying my eyes out while my then husband sat across from my helpless but trying to comfort me. I looked up from the table when a familiar scent grabbed me and for the first time that spring I looked outside my kitchen door. There, in bright bloom with a strong lilac smell was this huge purple lilac tree to the side of the house.

I believe in signs and I believe that signs tell me when I'm on the right or wrong track and for me this was a STRONG sign. You see, while Iris's were my mothers favorite flower, she loved lilac trees. One of her boyfriends after she and my father divorced had once given her a lilac tree as a gift (I can't remember why now) but sadly Alaska wasn't the place for lilacs. I know she kept it in that pot for awhile but I think it eventually just succumbed. She may have planted it but it never grew, it's hard to say for me know, over 20 years later. I just remember her loving them.

Since that spring in 2005 my lilac tree has never really thrived or bloomed like it did that year. My Mother in law tells me it's because we've had so many late freezes in the years since and it just does a number on the lilacs.

This year though the winter was mild. This morning I took this picture:

Right before I came down stairs to write this post I stood at my kitchen door and looked at my backyard. It's very different from when I first moved in but one thing this year was very much like that first year.

I can smell the lilacs again.

Happy Mothers Day Mom.

"Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that." Martin Luther King, Jr.


The world is watching us. Celebrating the death of another human being they watch us.

I do not know the devil that whispered into the heart of Osama Bin Laden and told him that his religious convictions were worth the price of innocents. I do not know the demon that took hold of his soul and convinced him to kill thousands.

But he was a beloved son. He once played soccer with his siblings and was loved by his children who did not see him as an evil extremist. They saw him as their father. They loved him.

When I was young and impressionable my mother took me to a Church of Religious Science which is basically Christian Scientists (not Scientologists). I don't remember a thing about it except that I believe we went for quite awhile and the young program left a lot to be desired. Say what you will about organized religion but I'd say the Christian Protestants (as opposed to the Christian Catholics) have a pretty awesome program with AWANAS and all that.

I digress.

The ONLY thing I remember about that church, our Church of Religious Science, is that at the end we would form a circle and sing a song. All day long that song has played in my head.

"Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.
Let there be peace on earth, the peace that was meant to be.
God is our father, brothers all are we.
Let me walk with my brothers in perfect harmony.
Let peace begin with me, let this be the moment now.
With every step I take let this be my solemn vow.
Take each moment and live each moment in peace eternaly.
Let there be peace on earth. And let it begin with me."

So there will be no "thank God he's dead" from my lips or in my house.

I will not mourn his passing but I will not celebrate it either.

Let Peace begin with me.

Bin Laden

I actually missed the breaking news that Osama Bin Laden was dead. I heard about it almost 2 afters it happened.

My first thoughts were "And?"

Because I think we generally know that terrorist organizations will not just pack up and go home now. The biggest bully in the yard is gone but that doesn't mean there aren't others just WAITING to take his spot. In fact it seems US Diplomats were put on high alert in case of retaliation. So are we safer today than yesterday?

I don't think so.

While I would like to think that in my normal everyday existence I do not wish for the death of any human being, this is one that I will make an exception for and I will be okay with the consequences of that death wish. But that's pretty existential for me and not a part of my everyday life.

But then I received a text from my friend Mia who reminds me what the death of such a mass murder means. What it really means.

You see, her fiance Doug was killed in action in Iraq almost exactly 6 years ago. This month. While I would never accuse Mia of waiting around and not living her life I know that a lot of dreams died for her then.

So tonight, the man she holds personally responsible for the death of her man who would have been her husband, would have been the father of her children, would have been there to hold her every night is dead.

And it brings her peace.

Justice is served.

Raised Garden Beds

My lack of ability to garden is sadly embarrassing considering my mother was a master when it came to getting plants to grow. Frankly I'm surprised my children have lasted as long as they have with the way I manage to turn growing things to brown things so quickly.

So of course it made sense last year for me to decide to begin trying to grow food.

Last year it was a few containers. I was very successful at cucumbers and mostly cherry tomatoes but I managed a few other items as well.

This year I decided to step it up and join the big leagues. Rex and Leslie were kind enough to design and build me (with some minor help from me and Micah) 2 sets of raised beds for my food garden.

Why raised beds? Well my yard is possibly the 5 circle of Hell for plant life with the dogs constantly digging and pooping etc. and so I struggle to grow weeds in the lawn area of my back yard. Vegetables just didn't stand a chance unless we raised them and fences them in for their own safety.

This is the beginning:


That's Micah showing a stubborn stump who owns this yard. You see that patch of green in front of him? That's the only spot where grass grows in that yard. Wanna guess where the dogs pee?

This is a rare moment of Leslie sitting down. Will assists with general supervision duties.



And this is the end product.


You see that roof between the two of them? That's a mini Pergola. My plan is to have my vining plants (I'm torn between cucumbers, green beans or sweet peas) climb up each side and hopefully over the top.

Each bed measures 12 feet long by 3 feet wide by 18 inches high (roughly).

That's a LOT of vegetables. I can't wait.