Well this is new......

So yeah. I'm having a boy. I'm still processing it. That is not what this post is about however.

I'm dealing with a lot of differences in this pregnancy that I hadn't experienced in prior pregnancies. The biggest one for me is the overwhelming exhaustion. I can sleep for 9 hours, wake up, move around for 4 hours and be utterly exhausted and overwhelmed after that.

It gets so bad for me that I begin to feel sick to my stomach and worry that my legs wont hold me because I'm so tired. I of course get cranky and can fall asleep in the car within 5 minutes if given the chance.

The problem of course is that no one in my house seems to believe me.

My 4 year old wants to check on me if I lay down in my bedroom. Every 10 minutes. She can be completely content and have everything she could ever need within reach of her tiny hands but the moment I start to drift to sleep she begins to sense it and comes to jump on me/inform me she needs to potty/decide she wants a different movie/would like another snack/needs another drink/wants to play with her animals/wants to play with her dolls/wants to play dress up/wants to sit with me etc. And no, apparently no one else can assist her with this task. If Kylie is here she just pretends she isn't and if Micah is here she tends to avoid him to get to me.

Of course if Micah is here he's generally laying in the bedroom with me trying not to fall asleep but falling asleep anyways and driving me crazy with his breathing because THAT'S how tired and exhausted I am.

Sunday I sat in my backyard and cried because I was so tired and no one would let me sleep. I could not rest, I could not get comfortable and I was so far past the line of tired that I didn't trust myself to be with anyone else.

If I had a fairly godmother right now my wish would be for a nap. A long day of doing nothing, where no one talks to me, interrupts me or makes me stay awake when I want to sleep.

I know this sounds selfish, it feels horrible to type. But honestly, I've been up for all of 3 1/2 hours at this point and I'm already feeling the tendrils of exhaustion starting to wrap around me. Sadly, I'm at work so there is nothing to do about it for me at this point.

It was never like this with my other pregnancies. It's hard to wrap my head around that all I want to do is sleep when normally I like to be up and moving.

This little boy better love his mommy.