I need a new pharmacy

This week has been the week of the Pharmacy. Better living through Chemistry as my mother used to say. I'm sure she meant her thyroid meds.

Anyways......

The baby needed two new medications for his asthma reactive airway disease. One is for everyday preventative use, the other is for emergencies. The emergency one works great, FYI.

Micah also needed something as he'd had a sore throat for 2 weeks and was over it. His Dr. prescribed what is affectionately known as KBX. It's basically a mix of Kaopectate, Lidocain and something else. I stopped listening.

Micah picked up his prescription on Tuesday and used it. It looked and behaved like a cough syrup only you swish and spit, you don't swallow it.

Wednesday it had turned to jello. Or a jello like substance. It was not able to exit the bottle and when you moved the bottle the blob just jiggled and plopped all over. What I'm telling you is that it wasn't consumable.

Because Micah has a sore throat and hates to return stuff I ventured out on Wednesday night to return it to the pharmacy.

I'm going to stop and tell you I've already had problems with this Wal-greens before. They shorted us on medication for William just a couple of weeks ago and it took me fighting with the pharmacy tech to get the "extra". So I'm predisposed to be grumpy but I decided I would kill them with kindness. And smile a lot. That seems to help.

Now imagine this. It's 8:30pm. I'm wearing a too loose halter top (it's what I sleep in) and black corduroy pants. I left the holy pajama pants at home. My hair is greasy looking after a full day of work and I'm 30 seconds away from "that time of the month". I'm bloated, broken out and missing the comfort of my couch. Oh, and I'm not wearing a bra because that is the highlight of my day, when I come home I get to take that thing off.

I show the pharmacy tech my bottle of jello. She agrees that it probably shouldn't look like that. She asked the Pharmacist who barely looks up from her filling of bottles (you can see them) and says to shake it. The tech tells me to shake the bottle and it will return to a liquid state.

To demonstrate she shakes it a little for me.

I take it from her, look at her and look at the Pharmacist. She hates me. I know it.

I tell them I will hang out in the corner and shake it for a little bit myself because I frankly do not believe it will return to it's liquid state.

And I shake it. And shake it. And shake some more.

And remember what I told you only a few paragraphs ago about my bralessness and my tank top?

Yeah.

So the pharmacy tech comes out and tries to shoo me out of the Wal-greens because OMG do you see what was happening there?!

I walk out to my car, call Micah, get my courage back, all the while SHAKING THE BOTTLE and then return to the pharmacy. I hand it to a new pharmacy tech and point out that I have been shaking the bottle for 20 minutes and my arm is tired. The inside of the bottle is coated with the stuff but the main portion of the medication is STILL a jello like blob.

To prove it I open the bottle and turn it upside down. The tech jumps back only to see that NOTHING comes out of the bottle.

I hear a loud sigh and the actual Pharmacist comes over. She closes the bottle. She shakes it. She opens it. She walks to the back of the Pharmacy and looks at a book ALL THE WHILE SHAKING THE BOTTLE.

She opens it again. She looks at it. She walks up to me.

Now at this point I assume it has magically turned into a liquid and I'm about to look like an ass. As if I was shaking the bottle wrong.

Instead she shows me the top of the bottle which is now completely jammed with what looks like yogurt but won't actually pour out of the bottle. She TELLS me it's kinda like yogurt.

"Yeah but he needs to swish it and spit it out. That's not swishable. It wont even exit the bottle."

At that point she concedes defeat and tells me that formulation is wrong. It's an old formula and should be MXB with has Mylox instead of Kaopectate. Whatever.

They told me they would have it ready the next day for pick up.

And they did.

I would like to believe it's the bralessness that did it.

I have no shame.

Obviously.