Fathers

Today is my fathers birthday. If my recollection of his year of birth is correct then today he will be 67 today. I will not, however, be calling him to wish him a happy birthday. A card did not go out to him today and no, I didn't forget. I remembered his birthday a week ago and have chosen to send him nothing.

I am a disrespectful, hateful, unforgiving daughter. Ask him. He'll tell you the same thing.

I so don't care. Well, obviously I care somewhat or else I wouldn't be posting a blog telling you about it and how I don't care.

I am infinitely jealous of my cousins who grew up with fathers. Fathers that did things with them and took them places and never made a promise they couldn't keep. Father's who deserve Fathers Day cards and birthday presents and brag about their grandchildren and come to visit. Father's who lend an ear or helping hand and who know you better than you know yourself. Pictures of them growing up in Daddy's lap, getting help with the science fair projects etc. I don't long for that anymore but I used to. Secretly.

I always wanted my children to have that dad. The dad my cousins had. The story book Daddy's who showered their daughters with affection and attention, I wanted that. Wished for it. Pretended I had one from time to time. My children didn't really get that either but what they did get, I think is probably better than a completely absent father.

To be fair, Will is going to get the best dad in the bunch if behavior continues as I suspect it might.

Neither Micah nor I had great biological role models for Fathers. We have some pretty awesome role models now in Step-Fathers, Uncles and friends and I feel like we have gotten incredibly lucky in some respects with that.

So instead of sending my dad a card or calling him or anything of that sort, I just want to say happy birthday to all the good Dads out there.

All the dads coaching games or sitting on the sidelines or taking to practice or rooting theirs kids on. All the dads kissing boo boos, driving to the emergency room at 80 miles an hour and checking on their kids at night. To the dads making dinner, buying dinner or eating dinner a child made that might be slightly "creative. To the dads knowing their children and loving them for who they are instead of trying to fit them into a mold that they have created in their minds as "best".

Happy Birthday guys. Even if it isn't your birthday today. It will be in the next 364 days so here's your birthday wishes too. Happy birthday. Sincerely.